No thanks I’d rather have a piece of cake WITHOUT a cup of tea.
Blasphemy I know. I may as well kick the baby Jesus in the nuts.
But wait, could there be a chance to redeem myself?
Maybe if there was a fruit cake that didn’t taste like baby food with slightly crunchy dead flies mixed into it – I could find myself back on the righteous path.
Behold my Lord and Prince, what is that flickering with C-beams in the dark near Tannhauser Gate?
By golly! It’s an actual edible, no wait! . . . an actually nice to eat Fruitcake.
I don’t blame the humble fruitcakes for being rubbish at their job.
Just like I wouldn’t blame a horse for not being able to do nought to sixty in 3 seconds.
They are both, at one time, the best that was available to many people.
Why not put these dried grapes in that nobody likes to sweeten it. Problem solved.
That’s where carrot cake came from too, lack of affordable sugar – so bakers used the sweetest foods they had to substitute.
I’m not blaming anybody, but come on, let’s stop this madness.
That’s how I used to think, but now with this little beauty for the first time in my life* I might actually enjoy having a piece of fruitcake.
* I’m apparently officially middle aged – so that’s not a short amount of time.